


12 More Days of Christmas

by AchievementTeeth, orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: All rejoice!, Christmas, Hunter and Kelli collaborate once more!, Multi, Return of the 12 Days of Christmas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-06 15:22:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5422067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AchievementTeeth/pseuds/AchievementTeeth, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ah yes, a festive collaboration between two dorks who love one ridiculous company. What could go wrong? </p><p>Take that hot cocoa, curl up in that blanket, and play some Christmas music as you read this fanfiction! </p><p>Happy Holidays everyone!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Perfect Tree Fir You

**Author's Note:**

> My apologizes for the. . .rather short first chapter. I began writing it rather late. 
> 
> But I'm so glad this has returned! Hunter and I have been waiting all year to give you guys another one of these! 
> 
> If you haven't read the first, I suggest you do! And, while you're at it, why don't you check our works out?

Matt crossed his arms, tilting his head as he eyed up the Douglas fir. It could. . .work. It's branches were a bit frayed and it seemed to favor one side, just the slightest, but it could work. 

He wasn't sure how the others would feel about it but, then again, if it looked like a sore thumb then it would fit in at the office. 

Some RWBY ornaments, blue and red garland wrapped around it, and a nice Achievement Hunter star placed at the stop? 

Matt nodded. Yeah, it could work. 

The brunet stepped back, glancing around the open tree market. Jeremy had been next to him only moments ago but the man was no longer in sight. 

He glanced down at the ground, seeing distinct shoe prints. Ah yes, those were indeed Jeremy's. 

"Alright, Dooley, where did you run off too?" Matt whistled as he slid his hands into his coat's pockets. "Come out, come out, wherever you are." His eyes darted around the farm. 

They seemed to be alone, minus a few workers. It shouldn't have been to difficult to locate the Bostoner. 

Matt heard the snow crunch not too far from him. His head whipped around, his beanie nearly falling from his head. 

He dragged it down his nearly bare scalp and grinned, slipping behind a nearby tree. Although quite. . .lacking in the height department, Jeremy had a quite broad stature. He wasn't quite as hidden as he thought he was. 

The brunet grinned and slid down to the ground, quickly forming a snowball in his hands. Feeling like an overgrown child, Matt tossed the icy object towards Jeremy. 

The man let out his signature scream as it pelted his back, harder than Matt had intended. He cringed, lifting his hands up in defense as Jeremy glared at him. 

"Uh, sorry?" 

The man frowned before a mischievous glint flashed through his eyes. Matt's widened, the brunet trying to hop behind the tree for cover. 

He was too late as Jeremy revealed a pre-maid snowball - one he most likely planned on using in an ambush earlier - and hurled it the taller man's way. 

It splattered against his chest, coating his jacket in snow. Matt chuckled, quickly making another, this one slightly smaller. 

Jeremy attempted to duck but didn't need to as it was thrown above his head. The man threw his arms up in victory, whooping. 

"That's the first time I'm glad I'm short!" Matt laughed as Jeremy ran his way, bumping his shoulder with his. The brunet ran his hand through his short hair, snow covering his head. 

"Dude, some of these trees are taller than me!" Jeremy said, keeping a smile on his face despite insulting himself. "I don't know if I'll be able to carry it to the car. I'll have to get on Ryan's shoulders if I want to decorate it." 

Matt chuckled, "We'll get you one of those 3 foot fiber optics trees. Let you add your own lights." He leaned down, pecking the top of his forehead. "But seriously, Geoff will kill us if we don't have this back by noon." 

Jeremy glanced down to his wrist. "It's 11:56." 

"Fuck."


	2. Calvin and Hobbes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let it be known - Ryan should never be allowed to make snowmen ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Next chapter should be Hunter with Turnfree but currently I'm here with some Raywood! 
> 
> I don't have much practice in this ship so I hope it isn't too bad, I was mostly going for humor in this chapter. 
> 
> In case it isn't obvious, this is based on the Calvin and Hobbes comic.
> 
> -Kelli

Ryan was quite proud of his. . .masterpiece. It had taken nearly all morning to create the snowy scene. He stood in front of the property, hands on his hips.

He cackled at the sheer beauty. Tomorrow, all his employees would be greeted by the sight of the wintry work of art he spent hours making.

The snowmen could possibly. . .melt some. But, then again, considering the ~~hideous~~ magnificent theme, it would add to the effect.

The blond rubbed his hands together, snow clumping together on his gloves. He felt like an iconic Christmas creature bullied for his glowing appendage as he spotted his rosy red nose.

His fingers were numb and he had lost feeling in his legs long ago, while kneeling on the ground, working on the ‘tree’ piece. With its sticks arms in the air, it appeared to be cr _oak_ for help.

Ryan visibly cringed. He was spending too much time with Barbara.

He counted the number of snowmen before him, humming in approval as he spotted a grand total of five. That would do. It would certainly succeed in its goal of freaking his co-workers the fuck out.

He could only imagine how they would react.

He needed to be at work the earliest possible, prepared to see all of their reactions. He grinned. It would be _glorious_.

* * *

 

Ray leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms as the car drove along the snowy streets of Austin.

“It’s fucking weird how it snowed all of a sudden. It goes from 90* weather in the summer and now this shit? I thought we lived in Texas.” Michael said, Ray turning his head towards the driver. He’d nearly forgotten he wasn’t alone. “Though, it does remind me of nor’easters in New Jersey. Those were fun.”

The man nodded in agreement. He had seen his own fair share of heavy snowstorms. “Central parks was kinda’ pretty with the snow.”

Michael laughed, “Ray, are you saying you left your _home_ to see snow?”

“Well, it was more like I needed to get Pokémon Red by walking to the store. So, y’know, it wasn’t my _choice_.”

“Are you telling me that you didn’t see snow until you were seven years old because you left to get a fucking video game?" The man asked, knowing it wasn't completely true. Still, Ray played along and nodded his head. "You sad sack of shit."

The younger man laughed, feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out, examining the newest text. It was from Ryan who had politely asked if they were there yet. When Ray sent a response saying, 'close!' Ryan responded with, 'Hurry up! My ass is a Popsicle'

Ray chuckled and quickly texted back, 'And what about your actual _Popsicle_?'

He couldn't hold the laugh as Ryan responded with, 'Some friction should warm it up. You know what causes friction? Rubbing, Ray, rubbing.'

"The fuck are you laughing at?" Michael asked, glancing over to his passenger as he made a turn.

"Ah, y'know, memes." He smiled smugly as the auburn haired man scoffed.

"You're fucking weird. Your sense of humor is something to behold, Narvaez."

"Oh yeah, 'cause Achievement Hunter is competition." Ray shot out with a smirk, knowing he had roasted his friend's ass as Michael glared.

"Never said we were _good_ comedians." He mumbled. "Besides, your boyfriend is an Achievement Hunter. So I'd keep those comments to yourself. Or you can share them with your chat. I don't really give a fuck."

"Shoutout to them," Ray whispered. "And Ryan says he has become a, and I quote, 'cylinder of solid water, frozen and slowly dying as the cold overcomes him.'"

Michael stared at him before saying, "You pick the weird ones, BrownMan."

The car slowly turned into the entrance of his workplace. Michael immediately spotted said unusual and frozen man. Shortly after, his eyes were greeted with quite the sight.

"What in the fuck-,"

A massacre. There had been a snowman massacre. Michael counted five particular snowmen who were either impaled, decapitated, or brutally murdered in someway.

"The shit-," Ray had seemed to notice the scene as well.

"Oh good! You're finally here!" Ryan said, smiling at the two men in the car.

His coat and pants were coated in snow but they knew better. It was the blood and flesh of the poor innocents on the ground.

"Have you seen my true masterstroke?" He asked as they cautiously exited the car.

"I'm pretty sure I just had a master-stroke." Ray said, earning a glare from Michael.

"Hardy har har, Barb," he said sarcastically. "I would've had one of them in cardiac arrest but that's rather difficult to represent."

"Jesus shit, Ryan," Michael gawked at the poor snowman who was lying down, a tree growing out of his stomach. "You are one fucked up individual."

"Ah, yes," he nodded with a smile. "But isn't it rather amazing!? I spent all morning on this!"

"You spent your entire morning creating a snowman homicide?" Ray asked, biting his lip as Ryan nodded.

The one that had caught Ray's attention was the poor fellow who had managed to rip his own head off, his body holding the horrified face.

"Well it seems we're all being Barb today so I'm going to homo-decide to leave. Care to join me Ray?" Michael asked, slipping back into his car.

The younger man sighed. He supposed it would be shitty of him to abandon Ryan. After all, the blond had put work into the display. 

"Nah, I'll walk home with Ryan."

"I was only kidding, I'll give you both a ride-,"

"I'd actually like to stay here a bit," Ray said, smiling at his old work building. "We'll catch up with you. Our apartment isn't far. And I know you wanna' get home with your 'boi'." 

Michael blushed. "Yeah, okay. Keep it PG, you gays." 

Ray smirked. "You're a bigger one." He started walking towards Ryan as Michael pulled out. 

"I call it - the Killing de Visite!" He said, spreading his arms out as he glorified his work. "I know its a farcry from a nativity but, hey, sometimes you have to be creative." 

Ray smiled, kissing Ryan's cheek. "Nativity gets kinda' boring, doesn't it?" Ryan slid his arm around the younger man's back. Ray leaned into the blond's touch. "I think this is a lot better. Plus, it'll scare the shit out of Gavin!" 

Ryan laughed. "That's always a plus, isn't it?"

"Your nose is really red, dude." Ray kissed the tip, feeling its chill with his lips. "We better head back to the apartments before your dick becomes an icicle." 

"Oh, my bad," Ryan teased. "I thought you were into that kind of stuff." 

The Puerto Rican chuckled. "In your dreams, Haywood." 

"Or, as Barbara would say, in your  _streams._ "


	3. Hot Tea is Good for the Throat, Not the Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Barbarryn fluff cause I'm trash 
> 
> -Kelli

Arryn was starting to doze, feeling her eyelids grow weaker and weaker by the moment. Her sweater was incredibly comfy. It was fan-made (that was a pun right? Hand-made but _fan_ made? No? Okay), decorated with both Blake and Yang's symbols along the top and bottom. In the center was fanart of the two kissing under a mistletoe. She was amazed at the detail the creator had put into it. 

Just as her eyelids seemed to close, head leaning against the arm of the couch, the front door to their apartment swung open. 

"I'm baaaaack!" Barbara greeted in a sing-songy tone. Watson pranced up to her, beginning to eat the snow off her pants. The brunette-blonde laughed and patted the dog on his head, scratching behind his ears. "I see _you're_ glad to see me." The mock-bitterness in her voice made Arryn roll her eyes. Barbara was always the one for dramatic theatrics. 

"Hello, hun." Arryn mumbled into her sweater. She reached for the TV remote. Now that the menace was home there was a good chance she wouldn't be having a nap. 

"I can really feel the love from your ecstatic tone." Barbara remarked sarcastically. She removed her X-Ray & Vav hoodie, revealing a similar sweater made from the blood, sweat, and - most certainly - tears of a fan. Hers was a light blue and sported Yang, ORF, and Lieutenant Jensen as the main focus. Along the top and bottom were tiny maple leaves and the Star of David. 

"I'm tired." Arryn offered as an excuse. 

She sighed as she heard Barbara running across the hard wood towards her. Arryn braced for impact, feeling the cushions next to her sink as the woman vaulted herself over the couch, landing beside her. 

"Really? ' _I'm tired_ ' is your excuse?" The brunette-blonde quirked an eyebrow. "What did you do all day? Sleep?" 

Arryn frowned at her, attempting to give her girlfriend the middle finger. But, as soon as she started to lift her arm, she realized the amount of effort required and lowered it. "I'll have you know I wrapped some presents! And we ran out of tape so I had to go get some!" She said proudly, confident she _had_ done hard work. 

"Wow." Barbara said, not sharing her enthusiasm. "Good job. You truly contribute to the household. You are the epitome of a hard working wife." 

Arryn blushed, punching her in the shoulder. "Shut up! God I hate you." The raven haired girl looked away, frowning. 

Barbara cackled and moved closer to her, nuzzling her neck with her nose. 

"Mmm. . ." The Texan let her eyelids droop as the brunette-blonde peppered her neck and cheek in kisses. "Why don't we have some tea and cuddle?" She asked, her eyes still close. 

Barbara laughed. "And by that you mean I'll get up and make tea while you sleep here?" 

Arryn nodded, not even bothering to lie or sugarcoat it. 

"Since I'm such a good girlfriend, I will." She pecked Arryn's temple and slid off the couch. Barbara stretched, Watson taking her place on the furniture as she walked to the kitchen. 

The Canadian opened the tea drawer, shaking her head with a small as she saw countless flavors. "Alright, _dearest_ , what do you want? Black tea, oolong tea, earl grey tea-," 

"Do we have anything a bit more festive?" Arryn asked from the living room, peeking her head from around the couch. Barbara would've complained but she looked rather adorable, curled up in her sweater, hair a mess. 

She looked in the back of the door, grabbing a star package. It was a holiday collection of various teas. 

"Let's see, we've got 'sleigh ride', 'snow day' - which looks like weed, by the way-," Arryn giggled. "'The spice is right' - hah! I like that one. 'Santa's secret' - is he gay?" The raven haired girl seemed to enjoy her comments because she let out a signature snort. "'Gingerbread cookie', 'mulled wine', and good ole' hot chocolate!" 

The Texan had composed herself. "I'll try the spice is right." 

Barbara nodded and removed said package. She thought about her own before grabbing simple hot chocolate for herself. 

She set them up and stepped out of the kitchen as she waited for them to brew. 

The brunette-blonde looked at the dog still in her seat. Watson looked up at her with his big blue-brown colored eyes. She sighed and took a seat on the floor. 

Arryn smirked at her, petting Watson behind his ears. 

"Aw, what!" Barbara pouted at her. "I gave your dog my seat and _I_ don't get a scratch behind my ears but he does?" 

The raven haired girl rolled her eyes and leaned down, kissing her girlfriend on the lips. "There. Does that make you happy?" 

Barbara grinned, nodding. "Yeah." 

The Canadian pulled Arryn closer, nuzzling her cheek with her nose. The woman laughed and twirled Barbara's hair around her finger. It was soft and curly towards the ends. 

"You really look good in this color." She commented. But, honestly, Barbara would look good with anything and in anything. 

Before they could properly kiss, Barbara heard the kettle hiss. She cursed under her breath and stood, entering the kitchen. 

Watson leapt from his seat and followed the woman. Barbara snatched a treat for him from the counter, letting him snack on a tiny biscuit as she prepared hers and Arryn's drinks. 

She nearly burned herself as her hot cocoa splashed onto her skin. Keeping her cusses quiet, she dried her hand off. "Arryn, you got any marshmallows?" 

"I think in the top right corner." 

"Yup!" 

Barbara plopped five into her drink, slipping a spoon into it. She took both by handles, watching as steam rose from both cups. 

The brunette-blonde returned to the living room with the goods, warning her fair maiden of the possible dangers of her hot beverage. 

"You fucking dork." Arryn said with a smile. 

"What?" Barbara asked, sitting down next to her on the couch. 

"You did not just say that sentence aloud." 

"Which one?" 

"The one where you called me a 'fair maiden'. And you said beverage as 'bev-er-raj.'" Arryn clarifying, Barbara blushing as she realized her mistake. 

She moved her cup close to face to hide her shame. She took a sip of her cocoa. "Oops." 

The raven haired girl rolled her eyes for what seemed like the umpteenth time. She sipped her tea and placed it on the table next to her. Once Barbara had placed her own, she cuddled next to her. 

Barbara had barely sat back before Arryn had latched her arms around her waist, burrowing her head into the brunette-blonde's neck. 

She laughed, kissing the smaller girl's head. "Awfully affectionate today, huh, Arrbear?" 

The only thing she heard from Arryn's response was a muffled, 'uh-huh'. 

Barbara lifted the raven haired girl onto her lap, turning her body 90* left. She laid her back against the couch, letting her girlfriend flop onto her. 

"Still tired?" 

The woman lifted her head this time to say, "very," before letting it land back into the crook of her neck. 

Arryn's warm breath and her long eyelashes tickled her skin, making Barbara giggle. "Ar- _ryn_! That tickles!" 

The Texan's laughs were practically muted by Barbara's hair and neck but her body was wracking with laughter. 

Suddenly, she pulled her head up, her short, black hair whipping all over her face. She sputtered as she cleared her face from black strands. 

Barbara cackled at the sight of her girlfriend's frazzled hair. 

As revenge, the Texan rubbed her hands all over Barbara's face, draping her hair over her eyes. The brunette-blonde stuck her tongue out. 

Barbara attempted to blow it back up before she felt Arryn's fingers slowly push it away. This time, her hands were more gentle. They caressed her cheek before the raven haired girl kissed her on the lips. 

Barbara grinned at her, hands moving to massage her back. Just as she went to kiss her, Arryn's tea fell from the nearby table onto Barbara. 

Arryn let out a horrified gasp and Barbara shouted, "Mother dick-fuck that hurts!"


End file.
